A couple of days ago I tried on a new outfit: it's a long pair of yoga pants, and a yoga tank that showed a sliver of my belly. They're from a company I won't name yet because I'm not sure if I like them, but they're a sustainable brand that's not lulu.

So anyway, I tried this outfit on before teaching and immediately my thoughts were 'oh, maybe this isn't appropriate for teaching'

Wait, why, that's weird? I've seen dozens of teachers wearing the exact same outfit, basically. What's so different this time?

All those teachers had thin bodies.

Huh. Do I actually believe that a body size can make an outfit 'inappropriate'?

Absolutely fucking not.

Is this my thought?

NOPE.

This thought was one that was passed down to me, gifted to me by diet culture, and anti-fat bias we are taught, just as much as the women in my family who struggled with it.

So, with that in mind, do I actually like the outfit? Does it feel comfortable? Like I won't have to pull my pants up five million times while teaching? Let's base me wearing the outfit on those, more important factors.

If I'm honest, I feel a little like a crayon, but I'll give the outfit a shot, because wearing it feels rebellious and powerful.

Body size shouldn't dictate the 'appropriate-ness' of an outfit, but more on that in a second.

If an outfit is only deemed 'inappropriate' or 'unprofessional' because of the body wearing them? Red flag. Big red flag.

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Did you know that the weight-loss industry is valued at 503 billion dollars?
Can you imagine their advertising budget?!

The weight-loss industry created a problem out of bullshit, flawed data to make you feel shame, and that you had are a problem. Then they used bro-y, toxic marketing tactics to push on those pain points that they fucking created and said "oh wait! I have this magical solution [which btw 95% of the time doens't work, because there wasn't a problem in the first place. but when it fails we will bully and shame you more so you think that yet again, it's your fault] and it's only 99.99$! [and the cost of your physical and mental health, is highly likely to trigger an eating disorder and fucking run your whole life]"

What I'm saying is, we were all raised an environment full of anti-fat bias, and have been taught oppression. We have to challenge, and unlearn anti-fat bias in order to reduce the harm we may cause to others. We also have to recognize intersectionality and recognize that fighting anti-fat bias also means fighting against racism, anti-queer and trans bias, antisemitism, xenophobia, and misogyny. (this is not an exclusive list) (further resources: Aubrey Gordon's 'You Need to Lose Weight: and 19 other myths we tell fat people & Sabrina Strings' Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia)

It can be disheartening to witness a moment where anti-fat bias surfaces. Sometimes it can bring up a whole bunch of moments in our lives where we have been hurt by this kind of thing. I did. I remembered so many times my family said comments about how I should change because 'my shirt made my belly look too big' or it 'wasn't flattering' (which, btw is a thought we should challenge too because most often flattering = slimming and that's problematic). It can also be difficult to witness these moments because it's uncomfortable to see the parts of ourselves that have potentially caused others or ourselves harm. But it's important to practice feeling uncomfortable, because we can't grow when we are always comfortable.

It's important to me that I do the work to uncover any implicit bias (which is an ongoing process for all of us) for a few reasons.
-I really really care about people, like a lot. As a human I want to do as little harm as possible.
-I can't be in the line of work helping people heal from diet-culture if I'm not doing that work myself. That'd be pretty fucked up.
-I have privilege, I don't face oppression because of my skin colour, or religious beliefs, I am straight and cis passing (though am queer and non-binary), and my body isn't faced with as much anti-fat oppression as bodies that are fatter than mine. It's far too fucking common for white women (esp in the westernized yoga world) to spiritually bypass oppression, and centre their voices and experiences. (same is true with white men)

Basically: me doing this work, talking about this work in order to normalize it aligns with my values. I profoundly give a shit about it.

Harvard's Implicit Bias Test

Here are a few reminders for you:
-it's important to know that it's not always comfortable to do this healing, and that's okay
-shame can come up in this work, about our bodies, our thoughts and our actions. it's important to do your best not to get stuck there. I'm not a mental health expert but personally have found empathy helpful to get through it. both empathy for myself, and opening up to listening to others and having empathy for them as well
-on the note of shame, things like 'I'm a bad person' can come up when we are facing anti-fat bias and I think it's important to remember that when you know better, you can do better. You're not all-knowing, and literally grew up in systems of oppression. Now that you know you can make amends, and continue to learn to do better.
-centre voices that are facing the harm and oppression: centre fat voices, POC voices, queer voices, especially in the areas you hold privileges' (and listen, with an open heart, without thinking of a rebuttle, just listen)
-I did not start this movement, the fat liberation movement, but I want to stand shoulder to shoulder with the folx who are doing this work
-when it comes to using your voice to start these conversations, it can be scary at first. I did a whole podcast episode about that recently. Think of it as a skill, when you first started riding a bike, it was messier, awkward as shit and not exactly instilled with confidence. Go into it knowing you'll make mistakes, and learn from those mistakes and be kind the whole way (to yourself and others)

Alright, I'll leave you with a gift, of sorts. This weeks pod I'm pretending I'm your bestie you called for a pep talk before or after a family celebration. Take a listen by clicking the button below.

Let's Chat

One last thing I'll leave you with. I haven't talked about this in my newsletter as much, I've been talking about it and sharing it on my instagram though. It wasn't intentional, but I wanted to say something here too. One area that needs our attention is the genocide happening in Palestine. Sign petitions, call your representatives, and as we talked about above: listen, and be kind. I've received quite a few messages that were quite rude saying that folx are disappointed in me for talking about it, and I'm going to post my story responses today as a post but the summary is: the only folx I am taking a stand against is the Isreal Government. (and I'm boycotting companies supporting them) but by this statement I mean: I'm not trying to express any stance against the Jewish community. I firmly stand against antisemisitm, and the genocide happening in Gaza right now.