You've spent your whole life moving your body for weight-loss, to earn food or to punish yourself. You've spent the last few years recovering from your history of disordered eating and exercising (even into ED territory), but you're not really sure how to kiss and make up with movement. If this sounds familiar, this is for you. Before we get there, big trigger warning that some of this might be hard to read if you're in the thick of it.

But first, let's prove I know what I'm talking about.

Not only have I worked with a number of other people who have been through this process, but I've been through it myself as well. The entire reason I started moving was to lose weight. It started with 'yoga for weight-loss' dvds with my mom, progressed into running with some pretty sketchy and dangerous methods, and blossomed to weight-lifting and probably at least 15 years of this toxic relationship. I counted calories, and my reason for movement was fueled with the glorious 'after' version of myself that would finally be worthy of love, finally be successful and beautiful.

I had an orthorexia period, a calorie counting period, and anorexia period. It never got bad enough that I was hospitalized, but it ran my life for a long, long time. Unfortunately, most of my friends also had struggles with this, and I was born in the early 90s so I was exposed to all sorts of low-fat, more abs bullshit.

I didn't know any better until years later, until I turned 25. I was just starting to teach, I was in the process of recovering from othorexia, and veganism turned ed and was working on completing my very first yoga teacher training. (first of many, this one was 500 hours) I'd come full circle, which means we missed a step. The fast-forwarded version is that somewhere between starting yoga when I was 11, and going to this teacher training I had started to notice something life changing: the impact that movement had on my mental health. And for someone who struggled with depression, anxiety (abuse and trauma I hadn't even realized yet, but I didn't know that then) this was a HUGE deal. It was the first place I learned to feel safe in my body, which allowed me to connect with my body for the first time, realize how I felt, process my feelings, set boundaries, learn what I really liked, and how I felt about things. If it hadn't been for movement, however disordered it was then, I wouldn't be where I am now. I went to teacher training because practicing yoga made me feel like maybe I could actually survive in this world, or maybe thrive. It gave me hope and helped me in ways I don't even have words for, and I wanted to share what I learned.

Alright, so we are back full circle and lil 25 year old me started working with the marvelous Jill Murphy, who I've talked about ad nauseum on Rebel Movement Podcast because she changed my whole life. Jill is a naturopath who, at the time, was working to help women and afab folx heal their relationship with food via intuitive eating. (not the version that is just a diet in a cape though, like listening to your body, throwing anti-fat bias out the window version) Jill introduced me to the anti-diet movement which spiraled into an entire life change and me starting this business. (I'm almost 33, been teaching for 8 years, have done 11 more trainings since then, lost my teaching job due to the pandemic, and started my own business in 2020-almost 4 years ago)

Okay so yes, that's a long back story but I think sharing our stories is really impactful and I didn't want to fast-forward too fast through that. Back to you: you want to start to move your body again but are a little afraid that you'll slide back to disordered territory, and have no idea where to start. I'm going to give you some tips here, but also just be straight up and say that working with me is an option. We can do this work together, and I can guide you, and hold your hand, so to speak, through the process. I work with people online all the time, and in person in PEC, Ontario area. Click this link right here to set up a free virtual 30 minute consultation.

Now onto the tips!

1. Stop doing the movement that you hate. There are no rules saying you have to have a running practice. So if you hate it, it's triggering and you feel awful after, fuck it!

2. Unfollow people on socials and your inbox that make you hate your body, and follow more people who don't look like you. Follow more people with bigger bodies, read books and listen to podcasts like Rebel Movement Podcast and Maintenance Phase to start to learn more about anti-diet living, anti-fat bias and body neutral approaches

3. Do movement you love, while throwing out expectations. Yes, a 10 minute walk counts, yes a 5 minute yoga practice counts, and yes you can just play music loudly and dance in your underwear. Do the things that add joy and pleasure to your life. Try some new things if that feels safe, and experiment! Heck, go to the dollar store to get chalk, and design the hop-scotch/obstacle course of your dreams. (then take a pic and send it to me @movewithbillie cuz I wanna see it)

4. Go easy on yourself. This process takes time. And listen to this episode of my podcast for even more support.